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The United States of Turtle Island

The United States of Turtle Island

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Twerking Against Tyranny (Unisex Classic Tee | DARK COLOR/PINK)
$40.00

100% cotton unisex classic tee

How to Twerk Against Tyranny

Step 1) Bend your knees to break your bond with systems of tyrannical oppression that you’ve internalized and then research, acknowledge, and honor the influence of black women on humanity while authentically celebrating the importance of diversity in culture.

Step 2) Start throwing that ass while building a political system that prioritizes regeneration, sustainability, and genuine equality.

Step 3) Get low with it while embodying the personal responsibility of participation, service, and action around building a new model of self-organizing based on honoring the land and all humans.

Step 4) Try it in a split while refusing to support war, genocide, and the exploitation of the people and the planet.

Step 5) Shake those thighs while dismantling capitalism, hierarchy, and patriarchy by replacing them with models of cooperation, collaboration, and community so we can all come in unity.

*This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Because these items are made to order, there are no refunds or exchanges at this time. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Pump Your Pelvis Against The Patriarchy Tee - Green Writing
$35.00

• 100% cotton


This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Because these items are made to order, there are no refunds or exchanges at this time. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Deep Dick the Deep State (Unisex Classic Tee | BLACK)
$40.00

100% cotton unisex classic tee

How to Deep Dick the Deep State

Step 1) Drink some of Toni’s “cockblock corruption coffee” to give you the energy and will to deep dick the deep state.

Step 2) Question the official narrative of what’s being broadcasted in the “news”.

Step 3) Question what you have been told as “history”.

Step 4) Question the systems that rule us and notice who benefits - and who does not.

Step 5) Get Toni’s somatic course “free your body and the rest will follow” to build a more intimate relationship with your mind, body, and spirit so you will have the energy and will to keep deep dicking the deep state.

*This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Because these items are made to order, there are no refunds or exchanges at this time. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

The United States of Turtle Island (Unisex Classic Tee | BLACK or WHITE)
$40.00

100% cotton unisex classic tee

The United States of Turtle Island

I don’t know about you, but I have a visceral reaction when I see the

American flag. I see a flag of genocide, patriarchy, white supremacy,

corporate corruption, capitalist hellscape, environmental degradation,

grape culture, a police state, a war machine, and blah blah you get it.

How can I get behind a flag within that context!? So, I wanted to make

a flag that we can get behind if you too feel misrepresented by the

American Flag - one that honers mother earth, and the genuine history

of this land. It is green to pay our respect to nature and inspire a deep

reverence towards all living beings.

The 50 turtles represent how the true name of America is “turtle island” –

a name given by the indigenous

people of the “United States.”

*This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Because these items are made to order, there are no refunds or exchanges at this time. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Cockblock Corruption Coffee (Unisex Classic Tee | BLACK or WHITE)
$40.00

100% cotton unisex classic tee

How to Cockblock Against Corruption

Step 1) Drink coffee to get your blood flowing

Step 2) Pump your pelvis against the patriarchy

Step 3) Twerk against tyranny

Step 4) Gyrate against geno, slide into peace

Step 5) Deep dick the deep state

*This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Because these items are made to order, there are no refunds or exchanges at this time. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

That Was Not A Microdose! Microdose (Unisex Classic Tee | BLACK or WHITE)
$40.00

100% cotton unisex classic tee

How to Microdose with That's not a Microdose! Microdose

Step 1) Look out the window and contemplate existence while gyrating - this will get the blood flowing in all the right places. 

Step 2) Put your phone far far far away and take a break from the monster box.

Step 3) Get outside and whisper to moss, embrace trees, flirt with rocks, and get dirt under your fingernails.

Step 4) Make art that your 6 year old self would go nutso butso over. 

Step 5) Breathe deep into the bowels of your soul and exhale all the shit you've been holding onto that does not serve you. 

*This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Because these items are made to order, there are no refunds or exchanges at this time. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!